Monday 6 April 2009

Where you belong

Husband thinks I can be bi-polar at certain times of the month. I am epicentre of rage just before my body finally gives in to my period. It is almost like it takes my body (and mind) prisoner until (sorry to be so graphic) menstruation actually begins and then I become a needy, vulnerable squishy bucket of mush. From one extreme to another - usually with only an 8 hour sleep in between. From intense angry frustrated wildcat to simpering sensitive kitten.

I wouldn't want to be near me. Usually I try and get some good acupuncture going - those needles sure do prick some sense into me. The relief when my period comes - not for any prosaic 'not pregnant' reasons - but the sheer need for my body to stop being so sore, tense and rigid - is followed by a need to curl up into a small ball with blankets and cake and comfort. I bought a freakin' carrot cake today because it had bunnies on top of it. Bunny - carrots, geddit? How's that for a 1st day period buy? Anyway Husband and Sproglet somehow seem to be aware of my chemical imbalance and are liberally plying with me affection. Sproglet gave me lots of kisses and stroked my gently face as he smiled - and then asked for some bunny cake. Husband let me crawl onto his lap, curl into his chest and force my head into his neck like some desperate puppy, starved of attention. In the days when we first met I used to lie here to go to sleep - we called it 'where you belong.' Yes - it was that gooey first in love mutterings that are nauseating to anyone else.

He lost his wedding ring over the weekend - we searched high and low and in my PMT'd state the only blood I needed to spill was in fact his - it turned up at the dry cleaners... Don't ask. What bothered me most was that we made vows on those rings. They are symbolic - no? To lose them says... what exactly? Well it doesn't bode well that's for sure. They are engraved inside with meanings of our relationship: his says 'Carpe Diem' - mine 'Where you belong.' So he's got his 'carpe diem' back and I'm now allowed 'where you belong.' Things are looking up. In 5 days time, they'll be even brighter.

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