Tuesday 9 October 2012

Ready, Steady, Bake off!

Team Brendan! No Team John! Oh god, does anyone care about James? Sex Symbol - really?? I mean really?

For those of you not in the know, I am of course referring to The Great British Bake Off - which is nearing the end of it's second series - tonight being the semi final; where 4 contestants are left to battle it out amongst the piping and the whisking and the glazing....

They are: Danny a doctor who was pretty darn annoying until the week John (handsome, left Oxford to bake - no, really he did) sliced open his hand and she went into doctor mode - making him keep his arm aloft and assessing the damage the tools in a kitchen can do - particularly an overactive blender.

Then there's Queen of puddings Brendan - in his 60s (?) calm, contained, with a twitchy eye that betrays the fact he is brimming with competitive spirit. He looks like he has barely slept he has been planning his petite fours to such a degree. Husband has some weird crush on him and is hoping to have fashioned a T shirt for next week's final with Brendan's 'on edge' features staring out from the midriff.

John - bakes with his Mum (bless) who made a Colosseum gingerbread creation that was nothing short of spectacular (and privately I'd like to see him take the baker crown). Finally we have James - who is 21 going on 45, and looks like he hasn't yet had sex. Even with himself. Somehow he manages to turn a collapsed gingerbread house into a 'decaying' barn and still get baker of the week.

Paul Hollywood (the sparkly eyed judge who seems hell bent on destroying Brendan's confidence) loves young James and all his scottish dithering. The other judge is now a bonefide style queen - wearing all the colours under the rainbow as she crunches in to another baking delight andthen checks the bottom of the baking to see if it has cooked - scratching a scrawny nail along it like she is digging for gold. How this woman remains the size of a bird while wolfing down all this sugary goodness is beyond me.

If you have missed this  refer to my earlier posts - this is middle class porn of the highest degree. Thrillingly British, unashamedly fattening and full of cliff hangers and hysterics - it is better than any drama on TV.

Why am I writing when it is on - I am away to unpause my Sky Plus - see you next week for the final - and I'm having a real life bake off party. Tragic - moi?

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